The myth of having it all
And Why You Need to Let That Sh$t Go
This article first appeared in Teach Work Out, Love.
Getting pregnant is like rolling a dice and hoping you land a 6,
no one tells you how much it hurts to give birth (think being crushed by a truck), how tired you will ALWAYS be, or how much anxiety you’ll feel when you’re in a playground standing next to the eternally gorgeous “Lululemon” mom. That’s the hot one with the great body, full makeup, and incredible hair. I still don’t know how their hair can always look that good ALL the time. I’m not friends with ANY Lululemon moms.
In fact, a Lululemon mom would never let me into the club, and that’s because I’m the “Just making it work and getting shit done” mom.
I work. I’m one of the “working moms”. When my son was born I was 29 and had been running my own company for several years, with multiple offices in New York. He’s 6 now and in the last year I closed those offices, took a corporate job, quit a corporate job, and launched two new businesses.
So you see, I’m just too busy to have it all. I CAN’T have it all, and be good at everything ALL THE TIME. Neither can you. If you try, you will be holding yourself to an impossible standard, and end up possibly having a nervous breakdown. The sooner you learn that having it all is a myth, a white lie, the better. Learn and accept.
I realized that I couldn’t have it all when I dressed my son for a Thanksgiving dinner party, and the only clothes he had to wear was his school uniform. Because who knew kids grew? And they’d need clothes other than school uniform?.Good job he looks great in blue.
I realized that I couldn’t have it all when I forgot to pick up a friends child for a playdate, and completely forgot that there even was a playdate. I did not remember until 6 pm AT NIGHT.
I realized that I couldn’t have it all when I let my kid eat 3 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a bag of Doritos for dinner because I had a work deadline and had no time to buy groceries or cook.
I realized that I couldn’t have it all when I accidentally ordered 20 packages of chicken breast on fresh direct because I was trying to multitask.
There was a time that I would be HORRIFIED at any of these things, I’m supposed to be the gatekeeper of time, I’m the calendar woman, I’m immaculately organized, I cook amazing dinners, I plan the best play dates, and I’m professional at work, always meet deadlines, respond to every email perfectly. AND I even let my husband touch my knees once a week. I AM SUPERWOMAN!
NOPE. I am human, and as mothers, wives, friends, women we often forget that we are just humans, and there is no universe that exists where we can do all things well, and be all things to everyone all the time.
How did I get over the horror of my mom blunders? I just stopped killing myself over being perfect all the time. So my kid ate a couple of sandwiches for dinner, he won’t die because he didn’t get an organic home cooked meal one night.
I called my friend who’s kid I forgot to pick up, I was honest, she understood. You will be forgiven! And the biggest trick in the book is learning to let it go. It doesn’t matter. Forgive yourself, lower the expectation bar on yourself, relax, and besides there will always be a Lululemon mom to kill it so you don’t have to.